I knew that it was time to make a decision that was going to follow me for the rest of my life. Being adopted is something special, it’s like trying to gain back what you missed out on in the beginning of your life. Somehow, it really did not feel that way to me. All I wanted was a family that loved me. I did not care if they did not give me anything, I just wanted to feel wanted and loved. I was getting tired of going from foster care to foster care. I just wanted to live life as normal as possible. My sisters and I had just been place in one home, I liked it because we were all together. Things were starting to change, my older sister did not agree with some of the things our foster mom told us to do at times, so she was not there for long. Soon after that, another one of my sisters did not want to be there anymore, that only leaves two of us at the time. I really liked being a part of a family, to have someone to open their doors to you, and allow you to sleep, and eat when you were hungry, it was a blessing. Sometimes I did not know how to say thank you. I loved this family, not only because they fed me and gave me a place to sleep, they showed they cared. As I got older, things begun to change. This family did adopt me, and things seemed to go in a different direction. I was always one of those people who wanted others to be happy. So anything my adopted mother told me to do I did it. I never had a problem doing anything for her. I wanted her to know that I appreciated everything that she had done for me. At times, I did not always agree with some of the things she told me to do, but I was obedient. As I got older, my life started to form into an image that I never imagined. I started going to church, and I noticed how God had starting working in my life. Sometimes I did not understand how to live for God. At first I did not think God was going to accept me. It was time for me to come out my nutshell. Going to church has made me stronger; it has allowed me to see that I have a purpose in life. It has allowed me to find out that I am a child of God. I never understood people when they always said that God will take the pain away until I allowed God to come into my life. After being adopted, it was time for me to step out and grab hold to what God had for me. It was time for me to move on, I did not know where I was going, but I knew to just follow God. I was always told that God will lead me, and to just follow his footsteps. At times it seemed as if I was walking alone, but I found out that God was carrying me during those times. I had to allow God to come in to my life and do his job. There was nothing else for me to do. The more I tried to do things on my own; it seemed as if it got worse. The more I cried and not thought about praying, God was there telling me to just grab his hand. During those nights where I could not sleep He was there. During those nights I just wanted to give up He was there. During those nights I did not know which way to go, God was there. I then noticed that God will not leave me nor forsaken me. It was time for me to open up, and allow myself to heal, and let others know what God has done for me. I can feel my nutshell beginning to open. I knew that God was working in my life, because this could not happen without God. It was time for me to decrease and allow God to increase. I always have to remind myself that to this day, because I know that God has a plan for my life, and now it is time to come out of my nutshell and receive that plan God has for me.
